Unequally yoked will never work- both in God's plan nor in two people's relationship. David Barnard Update - May 7th, 2004. After 16 months reconciliation has resulted in a re-marriage for David and Linda Barnard to one another. View the comments and photos of Marriage Reconciliation

Marriage - Unequally Yoked

About 2003 after experiencing several personal and marital set backs, I became angry with my self, others but not at God. Deception led me into disobedience to the heavenly call. I moved from California to Texas in July 1993 thinking I could disassociate myself from the call of God on my life and start a new life. Sounds like a Jonah story!

Someone asked me about finding Christians to date who know how to have fun and be "real" while trying to develop a relationship. Looking back when I starting reaching out through the Internet, I did not seek Christian ladies. Oh, it was relatively easy to make friends and date, but in the end, they were not people I would marry. In mid 1999, I did marry a lady I met (not through the Internet) who lived local to me. She was not an active, committed believer and in all honesty before God, my spiritual life was marginal at that time. My rebellion against the Lord a year or so before meeting her cost me a lot emotionally, spiritually but taught me a harsh lesson. Unequally yoked will never work- both in God's plan nor in two people's relationship.

The result was, we married. It soon became evident we were having difficulties in the marriage. God was not FIRST. About 18 months in the marriage, God began to pull at my heart and I began to seek after Him. The Lord was asking me surrender to His will. Sadly though, she appeared to have no concept nor desire to follow. There was a conflict as to what was to be first place in life.

Twice in the 3 1/2 year marriage she ran away from the marriage. Together we sought professional Christian counseling for many weeks after the reunion of the first run away in January 2001.

As a result we went back together but soon some of the same traits surfaced again and we seperated. We both agreed after talking things over to separate. The last time, after much soul searching and praying for WISDOM, I choose to file for divorce. Two years previous, I discovered just what the price of disobedience costs. The price was more than I had ever calculated. I filled for divorce January 2003 and it became final 60 days or so later.

The book "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren is one of the several books I have read during this time that has helped me to focus on "the God who's character never changes..but desires to develop our character by using circumstances to conform us into the image of Jesus Christ."

Another book wonderful book is called "Divorce & Remarry" by Ralph Woodrow. I recommend this book to people struggling with past divorce or pondering a divorce but are confused as to how God views divorce. Go to Ralph's web site to purchase his book.

Attending Divorce Care was the tuning point for me. A weekly 2 hour sessions with a video and 1 hour interactive group session with the participants of the course. You will find churches world wide hosting his 12 week course for about $15 for the course.

God is the God of the second, third, fourth, fifth, tenth, twentieth chance; however many it takes. He does not give up on us. When it comes to goals, I have set and reached most of them over the years. Present personal goal is to stay faithful to the Lord- daily. Be a man after the heart of God as King David Psalms 42:1 As the deer panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. To seek God’s heart and guidance before the “problem” not because of the problem. Proverbs 8:17 I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.

This scripture can be read to say “early in the morning” and that would be a correct application, but also like an old adage says, “It’s to late to close the barn door after the cows have gotten out” and so it is better to be spiritually proactive rather than “reactive.” Reactive Christianity keeps a believer on defensive living. Proactive Christianity positions a believer in the Holy Spirit empowered living, so he or she may be in pursuit of the enemy of our souls –not our enemy in pursuit of the child of God. James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Read this line very slowly and let it sink in like it did to me - "If God Brought You To It - God Will Bring You Through It" My I add a personal observation. “If you and I brought ourselves to it… we are on our own” That why it is critical to know the difference between God allowing us to go into “it” and our own self-will, flesh, stubbornness, rebellion bringing us “to it.”

God's healing has begun. Yes, I am learning to live alone. Yes, I am drawing closer to the Lord. It is because of these life happenings, and now post divorce, I am not moving too quickly toward marriage. I will remarry sometime down the line, but not out of "need" but because of being "healthy" inside and living it outside. In His time. Not in my time.

God, rich in mercy and compassion was waiting with fatherly arms as I rose and waked back to the heavenly vision and call. Today, the debt has been canceled. The personal loss has been overwhelming, but the grace of God is more than enough. Marriage is lost. Time has been lost. By God’s grace, He is restoring me to a place of ministry and position I once lived in. I have become involved more in Fellowship Church where I attend, and lead a Home Team; teaching, also playing guitar and leading worship and praise.

Update - May 7th, 2004. After 16 months reconciliation has resulted in a re-marriage for David and Linda Barnard to one another. View the comments and photos of Marriage Reconciliation

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